A Letter to Lockdown Larry and His Three Chins

Dear Governor Hogan, aka Lockdown Larry,

Hey buddy! Long time no see. Well, except for that lame write in vote comment you made a few weeks ago. Gotta tell you, I didn’t miss you or your fat little chins waving in the breeze.But now, YOU’RE BACK! I guess you missed the news shows and fawning CNN hosts telling you how wonderful you are. Patting yourself on the back was fun, wasn’t it? Almost as much fun as spending the taxpayer’s money on useless Korean test kits. ( By the way, Lar, where are those? Did you pawn them off on some street Covid test dealer in Baltimore?)

Anyway, in an effort to continue your status as “America’s Most Beloved Governor,” you’re back in the limelight again. ( By the way, you haven’t really won the award as America’s Most Beloved Governor. The media just gave you that title to stick it to Trump. Trust me, if you run for any higher office, they are going to drop you like a used Covid mask. You will be a pariah. I can’t wait to see it. That whole bipartisan shit will be over.)

But, here’s what I don’t understand. If you were such a great Governor and handled this Covid thing SO well, shouldn’t we be done with all this shutdown and roll back crap? Oh, wait, that’s right. It’s not your fault, it’s Trump’s fault, it’s the counties’ fault, it’s the people’s fault. You did it all right and we just effed it up. Right? Yeah, I don’t think so.

See, what I have learned about you, Humpty, is that you don’t do anything that doesn’t fit a political agenda and move you closer to running for President. That’s why you didn’t support Trump, because there is no way a lame ass like you would be able to follow him. Because, you are a big, fat coward. All those things you promised to us in Maryland? Yeah, none of them happened. And now you’re telling Trump what to do in light of the election fraud that has impacted the results? Yeah, right.

But I digress. Now you want to roll back how much business restaurants can do. You want us all back in our face diapers, even though they don’t work. Oh, and you are gearing hospitals up for another surge that will never happen. You did finally mention nursing homes, after what, 8 months? You are what we call a ” shit show” Larry. A failure. A liar. And because of that, businesses in Maryland will suffer more. People will lose jobs again, default on loans, etc. By the way, I saw that the power companies can now start cutting people off for not paying bills since there was a moratorium on that during the pandemic and that has now ended. But you don’t care, right? Not your problem. You still get paid. Your family businesses are fine.

And I’m sure you’ll have your fat ass at the Thanksgiving table with friends and family regardless of restrictions. Here’s a thought. Keep your mask on while you eat and just stuff the food in your mouth through it. That way the Covid won’t come in and infect you. But, you might choke. Oh well. Collateral damage.


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I am a 67 year old runner and conservative. I taught for 31 years and retired a few years back. In my life, I have coached and judged gymnastics, coached softball, and raised two amazing kids.

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