Crisis Averted in Oxford, Sign Study Commission Created!!!

If you need a reference or context for this post, see my post entitled ” There are Some Things You Don’t Compromise On,” published March 12th.

The citizens of Oxford can sleep peacefully tonight as they realize that their freedom of speech is safe for the time being. In a move that mimics the most deft of politicians, a town commissioner revises what he said a while ago and a commission of Oxford citizens has been created to study the issue of trashy and dangerous signs which give people directions on public land. If that makes no sense to you, suspend your common sense for a bit and I will attempt to explain later.

In previous meetings, the issue of signage was brought up in reaction to signs posted on either side of the movement to relocate a Civil War Monument dedicated to young men who fought on the side of the Confederacy. This debate morphed into removing all political signs because, well, someone didn’t like them. The President of the Commissioners had previously expressed a concern about political signs on private property which might bother someone’s neighbors. He had also expressed concern that these political signs really,”trashed up the town.” However, when he discovered that people in town really did like freedom of speech, he changed his focus and said, “this is not a contentious topic. This is non-content signage. This has nothing to do with anything other than signs we put up to divert traffic.” And the signs in question were only the ones on public property.

Total change of direction. I am impressed. It’s almost as good as the Biden Regime changing the definition of the word ” infrastructure” to mean, “anything we want to spend money on.” Like Bill Clinton said, “Depends on what the meaning of ‘is’ is. “

(I suggest to the President of the Commissioners that he might want to polish his manners however and not cut off other commissioners mid-sentence unless he wants to change his name to “Pelosi.”)

But now we have a committee to study this extremely important topic of the design of directional and non-content signs on public property. They will focus on reducing repetitive signs and examine much better methods of “getting the message”out as well as making the signs much more “aesthetically pleasing.” I guess the social distancing placards in the Town Park and the ugly pole mask posters are goners.

I’m just so glad and look forward to the report on this extremely crucial issue.

But wait, there’s more. There’s always a crisis in Oxford, and this week is no different from any other. This week the crisis is the overwhelming and dangerous problem of domestic cats being let outside in town. Not dangerous to the cats, mind you, but to the birds and other critters. You see, these cats sometimes hunt and kill birds, mice, etc. ( As a disclaimer, I don’t have an outdoor cat and I love birds. I have six bird feeders in my yard. Don’t tell the commissioners, they may want to study how many feeders are allowed on one property.) The problem, according to those who are concerned, is that these domestic cats are not hungry and therefore killing the birds for food, but are well fed and killing the birds for the heck of it. Sort of like humans who hunt for recreation.

Okay. I guess if you are a bird and cat kills you to eat you, that’s okay, but if he’s just playing around, well….

The idea has been floated to either create a town ordinance against cats running free OR to require that all outdoor cats wear a bell in order to warn the birds that they are coming.

Knowing this town the way I do, the bell rule will cause a problem. How big a bell? How loud? Remembering that we live in a town where outdoor music at a local restaurant sets people over the edge, I can just imagine the problem huge packs of belled cats ringing and dinging through town will create.

And, if we want to keep cats from running free, well, we are going to need cat trackers or cat police or something.

And what do we do about the hawks that kill the birds. Do we put a bell on them?

I’m sure I have offended more than half the town by now. To the sweet person who is concerned about the birds, I’m sure your concerns are well intended. To the Commissioners, well, the public eye can be harsh. This is satire and meant to be humorous, for the most part. That’s why I don’t use names.

But, it strikes me as interesting that in a time of such chaos and turmoil, we have these small town issues that take up our time. That’s the nature of humans. We see our lives from ground level instead of from 40,000 feet. I do it, we all do. These small issues are the ones we can attempt to control and speak out about, while we are silenced and nullified about the larger issues of our country and world.

And I guess we need to embrace that fact and do what we can, while attempting to find a way to change what may challenge us.

*Credit for quotes to Brad Dress, Reporter for the Star Democrat.

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I am a 67 year old runner and conservative. I taught for 31 years and retired a few years back. In my life, I have coached and judged gymnastics, coached softball, and raised two amazing kids.

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