I have two children. I raised them to have freedom to say and think what they want. But I also told them how to respect others and the views of others. I didn’t dictate their political opinions. But, they also knew that they would treat people with good manners and respect around me or pay the price. They are both adults now and even though their opinions and mine don’t jive, I know they are functioning adults in society who can express ideas to others clearly, rationally, and politely.
I started that at a very young age. Like when they were babies.
However, in my thirty plus years as a teacher and sixty plus years as a person, I have seen some pretty messed up children come from parents who think they are doing the right thing, but aren’t?
Let me give you an example. This is a generic example created from a variety of parents who have come to have conferences with me about their teenaged child.
In most cases, the child was not doing well in school. But, academics aside, the bigger issue was the behavior of the child. He/she was usually rude to adults, including parents; was aggressive and borderline violent to those who disagreed with his/her opinions, and did anything outlandish they could to get people’s attention.
The parent would often say to me, ” I don’t know what to do with him/her.”
After a discussion with the parent and maybe an observation of the parent and child together, the following parenting behaviors were apparent:
- The parent allowed the child to “freely express” him/her self without consequence even if that expression was rude and disrespectful to others.
- At an early age, the parent was afraid to discipline the child for fear it would hurt the child’s feelings or cause the child not to love the parent.
- The parent showered the child with whatever he/she wanted, and inserted themselves into any problems the child might have had with friends, teams, etc.
- The parent had a strategy of letting the child “discover” and ” decide” what they wanted with little or no input from the parent and certainly no boundaries.
- The parent allowed the child to have little or not respect for figures of authority, including the parent themselves!
It seems like a simple thing, and one that would not be bad for the child or for society to let children make their own way.
However, allowing a child inappropriate autonomy at a young age simply doesn’t work.
And then, add to it the constant barrage of propaganda promoting the fact that some races are evil, some are severely disadvantaged, and that the individual can not achieve their dreams.
How many millions of children growing up now will be the victims of this kind of hands off parenting, lack of guidance, and mis-directed anger and will end up living a less than fulfilling life?
BUT, THERE’s HOPE!
My friend, Reggie Skyrock, made this video today. It’s about Critical Race Theory and it is excellent. Not just because of his points about CRT but because of the wonderful video of a father and his daughter.
Here is the link:
The only complain I have is that it didn’t take 60 seconds to raise this wonderful little girl. I understand that the time refers to the length of the video, but I want to remind people that this father has raised this little girl since she was a baby. It’s clear.
It’s clear she has had love. It’s clear she learned how to treat people. It’s clear she learned how to believe in herself. It’s clear she had boundaries and discipline.
And it’s clear that this wonderful little girl will be a force in this world. Not for division, but for strength and true unity while defending the freedom and rights of others.
It’s clear that in this tale of two parents, I think the second one has done the better job. I can’t predict the future, but in this case I like my odds of being right.
SIDE NOTE: My friend and colleague on RAPatriots, Reggie Skyrock, is amazing. Go visit the website and join the RAPatriots Band.